Dude my mom stole all your condoms
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
