wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
