Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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