This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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