it wasn't lemon gatorade
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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