are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
