i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
