Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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