2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize