IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
