I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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