driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize