I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
