I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize