I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's shark week go big or go home
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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