8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
