if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize