Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
