I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
