honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
