I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
