Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
