I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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