They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
