I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
