please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
