so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
