So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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