I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize