having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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