i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
