Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
