some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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