eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
