You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize