Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
