How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
