I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
