i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I've blown a few things in my day
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
