Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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