New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
