He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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