is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
