TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
