Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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