all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
