One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
