her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
