Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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