My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
