girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
