if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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