you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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