I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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