so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
