my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
