Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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