So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
My balls are so social today.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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