we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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