Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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