i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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