I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dear god my vagina.
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