and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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