Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
