I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
